The advantage of pain

If you’ve read about my slow dance into hell all the way through to part 3, first of all, thank you. Second, please know that I put a part of my story into a summarised version in those three posts, but of course the process of it all was not so simple or so fast. I can and will write many more about other parts of it, but I wanted to take a break – and give you a break – from reading the sad parts of my story.

Your journey and your pain is valid

I want to say that there were good parts too, of course. Despite my struggles and pain, I still had many blessings to be thankful for, even if I didn’t feel it right then. It took me years not to feel ashamed about struggling with depression for that very reason. I felt as if my life was supposed to have way more broken circumstances to validate my suffering. The truth is that every single person has their own journey of trials to overcome, no matter how much money, love, resources and friends are available (or not available). It is part of life.

Perspective can bring relief

I still have moments that challenge me, tempting me to drown in exaggerated pessimism, which, if I indulge it, will take me down. But becoming more than okay means overcoming pain with correct perspective and not allowing it to take over your mind, thoughts, mood and your entire life. Sometimes, mistakes and irresponsible choices are the cause of your pain. Other times, loss, betrayal and sickness are the cause. Whatever or whoever it is, start with forgiveness and don’t build your life around your pain and fears. Don’t build your life on your past. You are not your wounds. Depression does NOT have to define your life.

Leave the slow dance

I know how comfortable pain and depression can become. It makes it easy to hide, to keep secrets and to avoid the adventure and effort of living. But it’s not worth it. Walk out of the darkness and reach out. Choose light. Choose life. Choose something meaningful that brings you peace, to focus on. Give someone else a hand. Take a step for yourself without caring what anyone else thinks. You can do it.


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